“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” Andy Warhol

The relationship result that’s eluding you can be found in the work you’re not willing to do.

Please, read that again.

I read this on a blog a few weeks ago and it really hit home for me.

The challenge with relationships is that you have a built-in scapegoat. It’s the other person’s fault. Your wife. Your child. Your boss. Your neighbor.

In the immortal words of Dr. Phil—what’s the common denominator?

I get it. You have real concerns about your marriage.

Maybe it’s the lack of sex. Or an inability to agree on a budget. Or disagreements about how to raise the children, spend your time, or run the house.

All of these are legitimate concerns that need to be addressed. 

So, how are you doing with that?

Are you making progress or just spinning your wheels?

If what you’ve been doing isn’t working, are you willing to try something else?

I believe down to my toes that neither partner can justifiably opt out of a major aspect of the marriage.

But, if you keep focusing on what your wife is doing, you will never get anywhere. It gives her all the power to define your marriage.

The Beginning of the End of Your Marriage?

The Beginning of the End of Your Marriage?

“Be the change you want to see happen." Arleen Lorrance  January is Divorce Month. It doesn’t mean all or even most divorces happen in January. It means that January is often when the divorce process kicks off. It’s the time of year when family attorneys' phones ring...

Your Top 10 Marriage Moments

Your Top 10 Marriage Moments

“ Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow." Helen Keller It’s the time of year when many people are reviewing the best and worst moments. You may have seen the lists for Top 10 Movies, Books, or Places to Visit. Maybe you’ve even created your own...

The Best Gift to Give Your Wife This Year

The Best Gift to Give Your Wife This Year

“Anything in life that we don't accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it. "Shakti Gawain I don’t want to sound hokey, but the best gift you can give to your wife doesn’t come in a box. It’s also not just a once-a-year at the holidays thing....

And, whether you believe it or not, you are contributing to what your marriage looks like. Maybe not 50/50. Maybe not even 25/75. Maybe you’re only 1% responsible. But your part is the only place you have any control.

The longer you wait to step up, the worse it will get. Until there is nothing left to save.

January is known as divorce month. It’s the time of year many spouses are reevaluating their marriages.

Maybe that’s you. Maybe it’s your wife.

But there is an alternative to things continuing to be unsatisfactory or contacting an attorney. Make a real change.

Knowing how to have the difficult conversations is the first step.

You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Reach out and let me know what changes you would like to see happen in your marriage.

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GOOD GUYS, GREAT HUSBANDS