“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” Andy Warhol
The relationship result that’s eluding you can be found in the work you’re not willing to do.
Please, read that again.
I read this on a blog a few weeks ago and it really hit home for me.
The challenge with relationships is that you have a built-in scapegoat. It’s the other person’s fault. Your wife. Your child. Your boss. Your neighbor.
In the immortal words of Dr. Phil—what’s the common denominator?
I get it. You have real concerns about your marriage.
Maybe it’s the lack of sex. Or an inability to agree on a budget. Or disagreements about how to raise the children, spend your time, or run the house.
All of these are legitimate concerns that need to be addressed.
So, how are you doing with that?
Are you making progress or just spinning your wheels?
If what you’ve been doing isn’t working, are you willing to try something else?
I believe down to my toes that neither partner can justifiably opt out of a major aspect of the marriage.
But, if you keep focusing on what your wife is doing, you will never get anywhere. It gives her all the power to define your marriage.
Taking Charge of Intimacy in Your Marriage
"I much prefer people who rock the boat to people who jump out." Orson Welles I’ve started something new this year—First Friday Ask Me Anything. It’s the chance for you to get free coaching about anything marriage related. This month Paul took me up on the...
Getting Support for Your Marriage Is Smart, Not Punishment
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago, and the second best time to plant a tree is now. George W. White My husband and I came home last Saturday to find several cars and a bunch of young people in our street. My husband asked what was going on and one of...
Your Well-Intentioned Decisions are Leading to Divorce
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Bernard of Clairvaux I was talking to Paul, one of the members in my Good Guys, Great Husbands Facebook group earlier this week. He’s a new dad and wants to be supportive of his wife during this exhausting and...
And, whether you believe it or not, you are contributing to what your marriage looks like. Maybe not 50/50. Maybe not even 25/75. Maybe you’re only 1% responsible. But your part is the only place you have any control.
The longer you wait to step up, the worse it will get. Until there is nothing left to save.
January is known as divorce month. It’s the time of year many spouses are reevaluating their marriages.
Maybe that’s you. Maybe it’s your wife.
But there is an alternative to things continuing to be unsatisfactory or contacting an attorney. Make a real change.
Knowing how to have the difficult conversations is the first step.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Reach out and let me know what changes you would like to see happen in your marriage.
