“Women need men like fish need a bicycle.” Irina Dunn
The good news—the divorce rate for a first marriage is between 35-50% in the United States. The bad news—fewer people are getting married. The marriage rate has dropped from 76.5% in 1970 to just over 35% today.
A big reason for this is that many people see no advantage to getting married.
In the past, women of a certain socio-economic standing had to marry for economic stability. They moved from their father’s house to their husband’s. But women now have the ability to financially provide for themselves.
Young women worldwide are quietly quitting marriage. They no longer see any value in it.
And if it isn’t done well, they are right.
I remember my nieces’ reactions when my daughter was getting married. They were all about the details but confused about why she wanted to do it. And they aren’t alone.
Young Korean women are shunning marriage because their culture is still highly patriarchal. These women are enjoying not having to answer to a culture that supports their careers but also expects them to do most, if not all, of the childcare and running of the house.
Sound familiar?
Ironically, women still want to have romantic relationships. It’s marriage they don’t seem to want.
But marriage has some benefits and protections just living together doesn’t provide.
It is a wealth builder. Because when two people combine their living situation and their incomes, they can spend less and invest more than either can do alone.
It also provides the personal connection humans need. Happily married people—both men and women—are healthier, less lonely, and live longer.
An added bonus is that children who grow up in stable, loving homes do better physically, emotionally, and mentally.
But this can only happen if the marriage is done well. And therein lies the rub.
Marriage in the old days could be a prison for women. Today, it needs to be an invitation. Because they can choose it, not need it.
And your wife needs to want to choose it too. Each and every day.
So how do you invite her to do that?
Reach out and let me know.
AROUND THE WEB THIS WEEK
Stop Settling for a Less Than Epic Marriage
If “fine” and “okay” are the way you describe your marriage, you may be settling for less than what’s possible. You definitely are settling for less than you deserve. While your relationship may not always be filled with hot passion and fireworks, it shouldn’t feel bland or “just enough” either. Fear and ignorance (in the true meaning of the word) are at the root of why most marriages slog along. Knowing what you want, and how to make that happen, is key to a fulfilling relationship. Therapist, author, and college instructor Terry Gaspard reveals how you can stop settling for less in your marriage.
Join our FREE Facebook Group for men only,
Good Guys, Great Husbands
