I try to do the right thing at the right time. They may just be little things, but usually they make the difference between winning and losing.” Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

You might think that the NCAA Basketball Tournaments would have nothing to do with marriage, except possibly as a source of tension. But this past tournament offers a great example of three things that can help your marriage thrive.

I grew up in the days when UCLA ruled college basketball. I then married a UNC grad and have spent the last several decades watching ACC basketball. And several things jumped out at me during this year’s tournament.

First is the Wolfpack from North Carolina State. They weren’t supposed to be in the tournament. They got an automatic bid because they won the ACC tournament. They were seeded #10 and had to beat both UNC and Duke. 

Seeded #11 in the NCAA tournament, they made it all the way to the Final Four. Once again beating Duke in the process. They won nine games in a row to get where they were never supposed to be. So how did they do it?

Commitment and grit! Even though they didn’t have a great season, they dug deep when it mattered. They put the difficulties behind them and came together as a team. They didn’t let the past keep them from making history. Oh, and they saved their coach’s job in the process.

The most important thing is they never gave up. They believed they could. And they did.

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The second game that can help your marriage is the women’s final between Iowa and South Carolina. Iowa had the best player in NCAA history—male or female—in Caitlin Clark. But South Carolina was undefeated and looking to avenge their loss to Iowa in last year’s semifinals. 

The Gamecocks players were dialed in and unselfish. Several different players stepped up at key moments. Not leaving anything to chance. They supported and encouraged each other. They shut down Caitlin Clark and did what needed to be done. With credit and generosity to all.

Finally, the men’s final game between Purdue and University of Connecticut was a great example of executing a plan. Purdue knocked out NC State because State couldn’t handle the 7’ 4” Zach Edey. U Conn chose to let him play and focused on shutting down the rest of the Boilermakers. Edey made more than half of Purdue’s points but it wasn’t enough to win. Because U Conn came in with a plan and stuck to it.

So commitment, generosity, and having a game plan all helped these teams succeed. 

And these same behaviors can help your marriage get through the common challenges that are part of a long-term relationship. 

While only one team can win a national championship, everyone has the chance to have a winning marriage.

You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Reach Out and let me know which of these behaviors resonate with you.

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GOOD GUYS, GREAT HUSBANDS