Kissing, or more to the point, not kissing is often an indicator of the level of intimacy with your wife. And I’m not talking about pecks on the cheek or mouth but full-on, deep, intimate kissing. The kind you probably did when you first got together.
Even if you’re having regular sex, if this kind of kissing is missing, it may mean that you aren’t as connected as a couple as you could be.
In the movie Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts’ hooker character won’t kiss the men who hire her on the mouth. She sees it as being too intimate. And she’s not alone. Many people don’t kiss during sex because it’s so intimate.
Do you feel that way? Does your wife?
Your lips are your most exposed erogenous zone. They are packed with sensitive nerve endings and even the slightest touch can create a cascade of good feeling. This is an association that goes back to the time you were a baby. Babies associate positive feelings on their mouths to receiving food and love. And that connection is lifelong.
Today, being kissed sets off a cascade of impulses that connect your brain to your tongue, lips, skin, and your other facial muscles.
A passionate kiss releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter linked to cravings and desire.
It also releases oxytocin—the bonding and love hormone—that promotes attachment and closeness.
Kissing also reduces cortisol, the stress hormone, and causes your blood vessels to dilate, your breathing to deepen, and your pulse to speed up. All signs of arousal.
So, if you and your wife have stopped kissing each other deeply, it can impact both how close you feel and your level of desire for each other.
In other words, kissing matters. To you. To your wife. To your intimacy.
If your interested in bringing this part of your relationship back to life, don’t jump in full force. Start slowly. Take your time and pay attention to how your wife responds.
If you’re unsure how to start, ask your wife to kiss you the way she likes to be kissed. Or watch rom-coms with your wife and ask her what appeals to her about the love scenes. Study the actors’ moves and try them out at an appropriate time.
And, mostly, just have fun.
What is your biggest question about intimacy or your marriage? Let me know.
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Pornography and Your Marriage — Problematic or Okay?
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