“Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new.” – Barack Obama
In a word—YES!
Not because things are bad, though they might be. But because all marriages need help.
This is because marriage is a complicated relationship that nothing can really prepare you for.
Even if you’ve had previous romantic relationships, they have all ended. So, without new knowledge and skills, how will you make your marriage last?
And marriage is so much more than a romantic relationship.
It’s a legal contract, a business partnership, hopefully a friendship, possibly co-parents, AND a romance.
Each one of these comes with its own requirements and skills, with the added challenge of managing them all at the same time.
You and your spouse may prioritize different aspects of marriage, leading to disagreements, misunderstandings, and, far too often, resentments.
This is why so many marriages flounder.
Taking Charge of Intimacy in Your Marriage
"I much prefer people who rock the boat to people who jump out." Orson Welles I’ve started something new this year—First Friday Ask Me Anything. It’s the chance for you to get free coaching about anything marriage related. This month Paul took me up on the...
Getting Support for Your Marriage Is Smart, Not Punishment
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago, and the second best time to plant a tree is now. George W. White My husband and I came home last Saturday to find several cars and a bunch of young people in our street. My husband asked what was going on and one of...
Your Well-Intentioned Decisions are Leading to Divorce
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Bernard of Clairvaux I was talking to Paul, one of the members in my Good Guys, Great Husbands Facebook group earlier this week. He’s a new dad and wants to be supportive of his wife during this exhausting and...
Not because you and your wife don’t care. But because you don’t know. And because we treat marriage differently than any other aspect of our lives.
Unlike your career where you may have a mentor and goals, or your parenting where you have friends and family to guide you, but marriage, it’s a black box we feel we have to solve alone.
But, you each bring your habits and experiences from the past and try to make them work in this new relationship. But, if they didn’t work then, what makes you think they will work this time?
To make this relationship successful, you need to be willing to make adjustments. But most people don’t know what adjustments to make.
Because all your differences are not created equal.
John Gottman, the marriage guru, says that 2/3 of all problems can and do go unresolved. The key is to identify the ones that need to be resolved and how to manage the rest.
But to do this, you need to know what works. Yes, you can read blogs like this one (and I am thankful that you do). Or read books, listen to podcasts, maybe even talk to friends.
But to be really successful, you need to be able to apply what you’re learning. This is where help can make all the difference. Help to make it better and help to keep it that way.
You’ve got this. But, if you don’t, I’ve got you. Click Here to discover how healthy your marriage is.
