“Because when some people are invisible, everyone suffers.” Gloria Steinem
I was reading a blog by Timothy Diehl on the All Pro Dad website and he mentioned a hashtag he saw on his daughter’s social media feed:
#killallmen
Think about that for a moment. If you’re a man, do you feel loved and accepted? If you’re a woman, do you feel justified?
When Tim asked his daughter about it, she said, “Oh, Dad. It doesn’t really mean that. It’s just an expression pointing out how women don’t need men.”.
I’ll get to her explanation in a moment, but I CANNOT let this stand.
Imagine if there was a hashtag #killallwomen. Or #killall (fill in the blank) with whatever group comes to mind. Would it be okay? Would it be laughed off because “it doesn’t really mean that”?
Of course not. So why is it acceptable to dismiss almost 50% of the population in this manner?
In my world, it’s not. Words are a reflection of our thoughts and feelings. Despite the old children’s rhyme, words can and do hurt.
And this attitude isn’t new.
In the movie It’s a Wonderful Life, one character says to another, “That’s why all children should be girls.” The movie was made in 1946. Just after World War II where many thousands of men gave their lives to protect the world.
It also showed up in 1970 at the beginning of the Women’s Rights Movement when Irina Dunn wrote, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”. Meaning, not at all.
One can argue whether we “need” each other. Procreation notwithstanding.
But if you have a problem with women being incubators in The Handmaid’s Tale, you shouldn’t relegate men to being nothing more than sperm donors.
Yes, some men are jerks. But so are some women.
Many of the men I know are good, loving, supportive husbands, significant others, friends, and fathers. This includes my husband, son, and son-in-law. My life would have been much poorer, and very different, without them in it.
This cavalier and superior attitude that men are unnecessary is disrespectful. It dismisses those men who do believe in equality. Who do want to be true partners. What’s worse is that it alienates them and any other men they try to influence.
Why should they bother if they’ll just be tagged with #killallmen?
If you’re looking for an ally in your marriage, reach out and let me know your biggest challenge
Love Never Dies a Natural Death, It Gets Killed
Have you ever heard a couple on the brink of divorce say they never loved each other in the first place? But you were at their wedding and you know that’s not true. Maybe you’ve even found yourself thinking this about your spouse. But that’s memory rewriting itself. This happens because the marriage has been unraveling in predictable ways over the years. But love and your marriage do not have to die. Author and relationship expert Kyle Benson reveals how this happens and what you can do to prevent it.
