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Bad Marriage Advice #10: If You’re Not Happy in Your Marriage, You Should Leave
Many fairy tales end “and they lived happily ever after”. But marriage is not a fairy tale. In the early days of your relationship, you probably spent more happy times together than not. Otherwise, why get married? So it can come as a shock when you realize that you...
Bad Marriage Advice #9: Marriage is 50/50
Marriage is 50/50. You do your half. She does hers. And together you’ll get a complete marriage. Sounds good right? Except it doesn’t really work that way. Instead of getting a 100% marriage, you’ll end up with a partial one where neither of you is fully living up to...
Bad Marriage Advice #8 – Marriage Requires Sacrifice
What do you think of when you hear the word “sacrifice”? Does it sound easy or difficult? And should it be a required part of marriage? Not in my book. Because marriage is not a deity or supernatural blob that needs to be appeased. Sacrifice is defined by Merriam...
Bad Marriage Advice #7: Marriage Requires Compromise
You’ve heard it—marriage requires compromise. You know the drill. You give up something, she gives up something and you meet somewhere in the middle. Sounds good in theory doesn’t it. But in practice, not so much. Yes, you need to reach decisions about things. Though...
Bad Marriage Advice #6: Marriage Takes Hard Work
Every time I hear someone say that marriage takes hard work I think, “Yeah, sign me up for that.” It sounds like I need to go out and plow the back 40 in 100-degree heat and 100 percent humidity. There is nothing about it that sounds appealing. Maybe that’s why so...
The Infamous Slap and How It Can Help Your Marriage
Everyone and their brother are weighing in on the slap Will Smith delivered to Chris Rock at the Academy Awards. I wasn’t going to until I realized it fits right in with the bad marriage advice people get about “fighting”. Specifically, the impact of acting on your...
Bad Marriage Advice #5: If You’re Going to Fight, Fight Naked
So, picture this. You and your wife are having a discussion and things are starting to get hot. You remember the marriage advice that if you’re going to fight, do it naked. So you stand up and start taking off your clothes. All the people around you in Starbucks start...
Bad Marriage Advice #4: If You’re Not Fighting, One of You is Hiding Something
Disagreement in a marriage is a given, but fighting is a choice. I will stand behind these words until I can’t speak any longer. So I have a real problem with those in my profession who believe that if you and your wife aren’t fighting then one of you isn’t being...
Bad Marriage Advice #3: It’s Okay to Fight But You Need to Learn to Fight “Fair”
What comes up for you when you hear the word “fight”? Anything positive? This is what my issue is with the marriage advice to couples that it’s okay to fight as long as you do it fairly. To me this is as useful as putting lipstick on a pig. It’s trying to dress up...
Bad Marriage Advice #2: Don’t Go to Bed Angry
On the surface this seems like a good idea. I mean, who can fall asleep when they are spun out about something. And, if you’re upset with your partner, lying next to them and trying to relax just throws gasoline on the fire already burning inside. It’s how this advice...