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Bad Marriage Advice #20: Marriage Counseling Doesn’t Work
I used to get asked all the time what my success rate doing couples counseling was. My answer—100% with couples who were willing and able to do the work and 0% with couples who weren’t. Because I can only provide information. I can’t make someone use it. And neither...
Bad Marriage Advice #19: Relationships are Natural
She said, “I’ve figured out that relationships aren’t natural.” I smiled and replied, “Where did you get the idea they were?” She is not alone in that thinking. To an extent, relationships are natural. But so is breathing and seeing. But things can get in the way of...
Bad Marriage Advice #18: Only Couples in Trouble Need Help
Do you think Steph Curry and LeBron James continue to work to improve their games even though they are arguably the best at what they do? No, that isn’t a trick question. Yes, it relates to your marriage. My newest Lesli-ism is, “no one has to take a Relationship 101...
Bad Marriage Advice #17: Your Kids Will Be Just Fine with Your Divorce
Yes, children are resilient. That doesn’t mean you don’t do your best to protect them from harm. Car seats, bike helmets, staying in your yard, meeting their friends’ parents, holding their hand as you cross the street. But divorce? Well, they’ll be okay. Eventually....
Bad Marriage Advice #16: Stay Together for the Sake of the Children
Maybe you’ve heard the news that Khloe Kardashian is overlooking her partner Tristan Thompson’s latest infidelity for the sake of their daughter. Her reasoning is that the young girl needs both of her parents. And, while that is true, not addressing the challenges in...
Bad Marriage Advice #15: If Your Partner Really Loves You, They’ll Just Know What You Need
Several years ago, I was hiking with my mother when she said, “I don’t believe women should have to ask for what they want?” Luckily, I was behind her so she couldn’t see my jaw drop. You see, I’m not a subscriber to the mind-reading school of marriage. Love doesn’t...
Bad Marriage Advice #14: If You’re Having Sex, Your Marriage is Okay
It’s commonly accepted that, if things aren’t going well in your marriage, the problems will show up in the bedroom. So many people believe the opposite is true. If there are no problems in the bedroom, the marriage is okay. I suggest you be careful in making this...
Bad Marriage Advice #13: Love is All You Need
With apologies to The Beatles, maintaining a relationship takes more than love. Most of us both love and are in love with our partners when we marry them. But it doesn’t always stay that way. That’s because we don’t learn the skills that can keep your love alive. Love...
Bad Marriage Advice #12: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Back in 2002, Richard Carlson published Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life. It’s a short collection of 100 pieces of advice to help you stop obsessing over little things that bother...
Bad Marriage Advice #11: Happy Wife, Happy Life
“I want my wife to be happy.” Almost to a man when I ask my clients what they want, I hear, “I want my wife to be happy.” And they truly do. It’s great to do things that will increase her positive feelings. But making her happiness the standard by which your marriage...