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Is It Horniness or (More Likely) Loneliness?
Sex can be great. And if you’re not having any, it can be frustrating. Especially if you have a spouse or significant other who is sharing your life and your bed. And if this is happening in your marriage, you’re part of the almost 25% of adults who reported having no...
Is “Weaponized Incompetence” Part of Your Marriage?
Weaponized incompetence, also known as strategic incompetence, is pretending to be incapable or inadequate at a task so that someone else will do it for you. However good it may make you feel in the moment to avoid something you don’t want to do; it will cause...
Who Handles the Mental Load in Your Marriage?
A 2020 Gallup Poll of 3000 heterosexual couples revealed that women continue to do more of the physical and emotional labor in families regardless of age, income, or workload. This is often referred to as mental load or the second shift. Yes, men are engaged in more...
Hurricane-Proof Your Marriage
Another September, another Hurricane. By the time you get this, Hurricane Ian should be dumping a bunch of water on my town. Thank goodness North Carolina will most likely fair much better than Florida has but it’s still going to disrupt things. What does this have to...
Will Your Marriage Survive the Holidays?
Labor Day is over. School is back in session. Halloween is around the corner and the holidays are bearing down. Is your marriage in a strong enough place to weather all of this? Or will you be one of the many couples calling divorce attorneys in the new year? For the...
Should You Be More Honest About the State of Your Marriage?
You’ve probably heard the expression “honesty is the best policy”. You may even claim that honesty is one of your core values. But when it comes to your marriage, do you follow through? If not, why not? Two things have happened this week that have this front and...
Do You Respond Badly to Your Wife’s Criticism?
No one likes criticism. Even if given “constructively”, it hurts. And when it comes from your wife? Even harder. How you respond to it can, and often, does make the situation worse. And this puts your marriage in danger. Yes, she may be exaggerating your actions. Yes,...
Women Shouldn’t Do Anymore Housework this Year
That’s the title of a piece by Sarah Greene Carmichael of Bloomberg Opinion that appeared in my local paper last Saturday. According to her, there should be an Equal Housework Day every August to underline the extra labor women put in at home. Time Magazine had a...
Understanding in Marriage is Overrated
Do you make your wife jump through hoops to get courtesy and compassion from you? If so, you’re putting your marriage in grave danger. I was thinking about this during a session earlier today with my clients Todd and Susan (not their real names). She was hurt when he...
Bad Marriage Advice #25: Forgive and Forget
While forgiveness is both important and necessary for a healthy marriage, it’s not as simple as this expression implies. Forgiveness is a process and cannot be rushed. In addition, it may not be possible or even desirable to “forget” an incident that requires...