There is something about everything that you can be glad about, if you keep hunting long enough to find it. Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. So it bothers me that it often is overlooked. It’s as if nothing exists between Halloween and Christmas.
But it’s a moment of calm between those often-overblown holidays.
And it can serve as a reset for your marriage.
So many people are searching for the key to happiness. And, surprise, the fastest route to that is through gratitude.
When you are open to what’s going right in your life, it’s very difficult to be unhappy.
But if you are focused on what you think is missing or not working, you are more than likely to be disappointed.
It starts a cycle of negativity. The more you focus on what’s not working, the more unhappy you are. And the more unhappy you are, the more you focus on what’s missing from your life.
And you can keep feeding this. If you are looking for something to be wrong, I guarantee you will find it.
The good news is that the reverse is true as well.
When you turn your mind to what is positive in your life, your happiness level will go up.
But, according to studies on happiness, it takes 3-5 positive interactions to balance out one negative one.’s
That’s the power of the negative.
Unfortunately, over the course of many marriages, complaints go up and gratitude goes down. According to the 5:1 ratio from above, this means those marriages are way out of balance. Maybe yours is too.
This is where Thanksgiving can come to your rescue. Because it is all about gratitude. Not costumes or presents.
It’s not about anything else but an emphasis on what’s going right in your life, no matter how mundane or expected. And if you express your gratitude regularly, both your personal happiness and your marital happiness will increase.
So as Thanksgiving approaches, I challenge you to identify three to five things a day you appreciate about your spouse and/or your marriage. Write them down and share them.
As you do this regularly, your wife will feel seen and appreciated. This will begin to shift her negativity. More than likely, she will start to express gratitude for you and what you bring to the relationship.
And the best part, it doesn’t cost a thing.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Reach out and let me know the first three things you are grateful for about your wife and your marriage. I really want to know.
