Are you stressing about what to do about Valentine’s Day? Are you worried that you’ll end up in the doghouse once again?
Relax. I have the perfect solution for you.
It will arrive on time. No last-minute running to the mall, mad scrolling on Amazon, or frantically searching for a dinner reservation that isn’t at 4:30 or 10 pm.
It will last for more than a few days, unlike those over-priced flowers or the aforementioned dinner.
In fact, it’s a gift you can give over and over and your partner will never tire of it.
Actually, it’s two things:
- The gift of commitment to your relationship, and
- The gift of being the best partner you can be.
Let’s take them one at a time.
The gift of commitment means actively paying attention to your relationship. It means making time for it in your life. Too many couples let other things take priority—their jobs, the kids, their hobbies, etc. Your relationship sits on the back burner, not causing trouble but not getting any attention.
This is the way to guarantee its demise. Nothing thrives on neglect and your relationship is no different.
When other things take priority, you set up your relationship to die the death of a thousand cuts. Missed opportunities, miscommunication, missed chances for connection. Simply because you’re not paying attention and probably taking for granted that it will always be there.
That’s not commitment. That’s indifference at worst; taking it for granted at best.
Your relationship needs to be one of your top priorities if it’s going to thrive, not merely limp along dying a slow, inevitable death.
This leads to the gift of being the best partner you can be.
This doesn’t entail you doing everything your partner wants, when they want it or how they want it. That throws the relationship out of balance and opens the door to frustration and resentment.
Being the best partner means you learn what makes relationships work and adopt those behaviors.
It means you wake up in the morning thinking about how you can improve your partner’s day. Not that you are responsible for their happiness but that you are being kind, respectful, supportive, and present.
You make requests, not demands, complaints, or criticisms. You manage your emotions and take responsibility for your actions.
You be your partner’s soft place to fall and the one that has their back.
You do the things that led to them falling in love with you in the first place.
When you do these things, Valentine’s Day just becomes another day like all the other ones you fill with your love.
You’ve got this. And if you don’t, I can help.
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Growth is Necessary for a Good Marriage
People like the concept of change. The reality of it—not so much. But if your relationship isn’t growing, it’s dying. And it grows because either you or your partner are learning new things, having new experiences, and developing new habits. And if one of you changes, your marriage will as well. How you do this will determine its success. This is what’s behind the often heard statement, “We’ve grown apart.” How can you guide the outcome so it doesn’t mean the end? Author and Relationship Coach Louis Morris reveals why personal growth is critical for your relationship.
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