Imagine going to a friend’s house for dinner. She’s in the kitchen when you arrive putting the final touches on the salad. And there’s her husband squirting her with a bottle of water when she puts the tomatoes in before the lettuce. And again, when she pours dressing directly onto the salad instead of putting it in a separate container for the guests to use.
Or picture this. You pick up your child from school and his hair and shirt are all wet. You ask what happened. He tells you the teacher squirts the kids with water when they misspell a word or get the answer wrong when doing the multiplication tables. And today, he struggled with the answers.
Would you laugh? Or would you be appalled?
I don’t know about you, but most parents I know would demand the teacher be fired. And as for your friend? Well, most of us would want to know what else is going on in that relationship.
Now suppose those incidents were recorded, uploaded to the internet, and received millions of likes and thousands of shares and comments.
This is exactly what one wife did to her husband who was trying to learn Spanish. If he missed a word—squirt. Missed another word—squirt again. Heather Wake said in her article on Upworthy that it “made for a delightful (and viral) TikTok video”.
She also said that “the husband seems to be having fun as well so no harm, no foul”. Well, as long as he was okay with it.
NO!!!!!
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Even experts say not to use a spray bottle to get your cats or dogs to behave, but husbands? Well apparently, they are fair game.
Call me a fun-sucker, but I have never been a fan of most slapstick. I’ve never found the Three Stooges to be funny. Hurting or humiliating someone for a laugh just doesn’t do it for me.
And just because men as a whole have been privileged, it doesn’t mean an individual man is less deserving of being treated humanely. Especially not one you promised to love, honor, and cherish.
Yes, some men are jerks. So are some women. No particular group has a monopoly on poor behavior. Especially when it comes to relationships.
I am really tired of good guys being treated as if they are incompetent and incapable. And the majority of men are good guys, not wayward children that need to be disciplined or trained.
Liking, sharing, and supporting degrading behavior towards one group gives cover when it happens to other groups.
So if you wouldn’t want it done to you, or to your child, or to your friend, don’t do it to your husband.
He is a person, no matter his quirks or challenges. And just like all of us, he deserves to be treated with basic kindness and respect. Not to mention love. The health of your marriage requires it.
If your marriage could use some TLC, reserve a time to talk with me here.
around the web this week:
Why Valentine’s Day is Really Important to Your Spouse—and It’s Not About Your Love
Valentine’s Day on the surface is about sharing your love with your special someone. But if your partner puts an outsize emphasis on the day, something deeper may be going on. Special occasions may actually be tapping into your partner’s emotional blueprint and triggering unproductive relationship patterns.
Judy Wilkins-Smith is here to help you understand why this is happening and, more to the point, what to do about it so your day of love will be a celebration.
If you want a thriving marriage, not just one that survives, Lesli can help. Please share the show with those you care about on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
When is It Okay to Open Your Partner Up to Humiliation?
